No Matter What
by Jacquese
Summary: Fifth in the "We Are" series. His song was ending. "'It'll be fine. It's always fine.' He took her hand and pulled it up to his mouth for a kiss before dropping it back in her lap. 'Not this time.'" 10/Rose; multi-chapter
1. Chapter 1

THE END OF TIME

_He will knock four times._

The Doctor closed the door behind him and hesitated before he had to go and find Rose. He had been hiding this from her for months, had been running from it for even longer. He knew the time was coming, the time when he would die. Whether or not he would regenerate remained unclear. But either way it made his hearts break. To be re-united with Rose only to then abandon her, alone with their son, again! He didn't even want to think about it.

_**Something is returning.**_

He prepared in his head what he would tell her. He knew that she couldn't join him on this one. If anything were to happen to her, or to Sammy...He had to stop the thought before it went too far. No, Rose had to stay behind. Sammy was already going to lose one parent. The Doctor would not have his son become an orphan, not if there was anything he could do about it.

Rose was with Sammy, trying to put the Time Tot to bed. The Doctor lurked in the doorway, and after a few more moments of persuasion, the blonde boy finally closed his eyes. Rose kissed the top of his head, turned off his lamp, and moved to join her beloved Time Lord. Said Time Lord wrapped an arm around her shoulders and moved them toward their own bedroom.

He had stripped off his jacket, loosened his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. He sat on the bed and let his mind run away as Rose readied herself for bed. As a Time Lord, he rarely slept, but he took it upon himself to stay with Rose as she did so. Part of him did it so that she didn't have to wake up alone anymore, but most of him didn't ever want to let her out of his sight. Since she and Sammy had entered the TARDIS, they had become quite domestic, and he was surprised at how quickly he had acquired a taste for it. There was still loads of running, but quite a bit less danger, which was perfectly fine by him. He had Rose, and they had a son. He didn't need the adrenaline anymore.

Rose reappeared. This conversation wasn't going to go well.

She sat on the bed opposite him and spoke before he could even open his mouth. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Something's going on. Tell me what it is."

He dropped his jaw to speak, but closed it again shortly after. His eyes fell, and he reached out to hold her hand in his. He rubbed it with his thumb for a moment before saying, "There's a prophecy."

"Doctor-"

"Please, Rose," he breathed. She sighed and gave him her undivided attention. "There's a prophecy. It tells of something returning. I don't know what, and I don't know when, but something's coming, and it's soon."

She placed her hand on top of his. Her expression showed him just how unfazed she was by this. "Well, whatever it is, we'll face it together, yeah?"

His eyelids flickered up and he matched her stare.

"We can't."

She pulled her hand back in surprise. He had never denied her help. He had never wanted to face things alone, not since she had come back to him. Rather than voice her objections, she merely waited for an explanation.

"Rose, whatever it is, the Master is behind it." The recognition set into her features. He had told her about the Master, everything with Martha and Jack and the year that never was. "He's supposed to be dead, but his image is invading people's dreams. The nightmare has even reached the Ood Sphere, which means that if it's him, if the Master is still alive, he's more powerful than ever." His hand gripped hers a little tighter. "The last time he and I met, he knew about you, but I don't think he knew that you were more than a companion of mine, and there isn't a way that he knows I've got you back. Rose, if he finds out...if he learns about you and Sammy...I don't think there will be a way that I can protect you. I need you here, safe."

She nodded, but he could tell he had yet to convince her.

"There's more." He breathed deeply. "Rose, I've been told that...that my song is ending, that I'm going to die." She gasped quietly, and he could see her tears form quickly. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I think I've known for a while, but I didn't want to say anything. I don't...I don't want to say goodbye again."

She replaced her hand on his in silent reassurance. "It'll be fine," she said. You won't have to say goodbye again. It'll be fine. It's always fine."

He took her hand and pulled it up to his mouth for a kiss before dropping it back in her lap.

"Not this time."

She wrenched her hand back more violently than the last time. Standing up and making her way to the other side of the room, her every move established her disapproval and frank anger. With her back turned to him, her hands came up to her face and hid it for a moment before crossing over her chest.

"So you're just giving up?!" she asked, her voice thick with emotion. "After all we went through, after losing you and getting you back...we have Sammy!" She turned to face him, and he realized that she must have been trying to hide the fact that she was crying. Her eyes were red and glossy, the reflections on her cheeks proving the stream of tears. "Doctor, we have a son! And you're just going to give up and..." Her voice caught and she ended her sentence there. She took a deep breath and allowed her sobs to subside before changing the topic. "And what does that even mean, 'your song is ending'? Are...will you regenerate or is that...is that just it?"

He itched to move, to run to her and hold her and make the hurt go away, but he knew any attempt would be in vain. She would shove him away and probably leave the room and the conversation would have to wait for another day which was no good. They had to talk about this now. They had to be prepared for the worst, and they had to be prepared for it to happen at any given moment. So he remained on the bed, his pleading eyes trying to convey everything his words could not.

"I don't know," he admitted. He couldn't stop the next words that came out of his mouth. He loved Rose, and she deserved his complete honesty now more than ever. "But either way...every time I change it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away...and I'm dead."

She hurried back over to him at that. "Don't say that!" she begged. She pressed herself into his chest, silently commanding to be held. He obeyed. "It's not fair! I've only just got you back." She cried openly into his shirt, clutching a chunk in her fist. He simply pressed a kiss in her hair. A few moments later, she pulled back.

"I have to go with you," she cried, pulling away from him enough to look him in the eye. "I need to be there, Doctor. Maybe I can stop it happening!"

He sighed quickly. "Rose, I don't think anyone could stop it from happening."

"Well then I should be there when it happens. I should be the last thing you see!"

That had almost had him convinced. It would be much nicer if Rose could be the last thing he saw, and the first thing the new him would see. It might even make the process go a little smoother if she was there to hold his hands. Suddenly a thought came into his head that immediately nixed any ideas he entertained about Rose being with him for his last adventure.

"Rose, you need to stay here. I need to keep you 100% safe, and, besides Sammy, I think you know the reason why."

She looked down for a moment, and he knew that he was right. He had suspected for a few weeks, but he was waiting for her to tell him, thinking that he may have picked up on it before she did.

"I wanted to surprise you," she admitted quietly. "I've only known for a couple of days."

He nodded before lunging forward and fastening his mouth to hers. She began deepening the kiss, and he did not object. He wasn't very present during the kiss. Instead his thoughts were occupied in much more upsetting thoughts. Sammy would never remember his face, and their unborn child would never even see it. When they pulled apart, tears were falling down his face as well.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," he spoke, his emotions getting the better of him. "If I could put it off any longer, I would." She nodded. "But I've already been running from it for so long. I was running from it when I found you again. It's time to face it." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I promise you, Rose. I will come back to you. I could never leave you and Sammy. I will be there for you with our new little one the way I couldn't be there for Sammy. I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what I look like."

She pressed their foreheads together. "No matter what face you have, you and me, we'll always be-"

"Yes," he interrupted. "We will."

She lay herself down on the bed and pulled him with her. That night, as Rose fell asleep, the Doctor couldn't remember a time when he held her tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

He thought of Rose.

All the time while the Lord President stood in front of him, as Gallifrey returned, looking into this mother's eyes for the last time, Rose was the one thing on his mind. No matter what happened next, he needed to remember Rose, remember their family, their growing family at that. He was waiting for the moment when he would die, and during the stand-off with Rassilon and the Master, it seemed that his time had come. It was time, but that did not mean that he was anywhere near ready. How could someone prepare to leave their family forever? He couldn't imagine how Rose had done it.

But then, it was all over. The Time Lords were gone forever, and the Master went with them, and the Doctor was still alive, and he was still the same man. He almost cried out of sheer elation. Of course, his relief was short-lived as he heard four taps on glass. He looked over and there was Wilf. Stupid, old, foolish, marvelous, wonderful Wilf. The Doctor's elation changed to despair quite rapidly as he realized that this was how it was supposed to be all along. It was always Wilf.

After a short temper tantrum, he went to the glass cage and freed his old friend, trapping himself inside. He waited.

The only thing he felt was overwhelming pain. He knew that the radiation would cause a regeneration and would therefore hurt, but that was in no way any preparation for the emotional hurt that accompanied it. As the radiation rushed through him, his muscles contracted and relaxed at odd rhythms and eventually his knees gave out, causing him to fall to the floor. He curled up in a ball, begging for it all to end. He could feel the toxin seep into his being and linger underneath his skin. It flowed in his veins. There would be no metabolizing it or concentrating it so as to expel it from his body. There was too much and it was too strong. He did his best not to weep.

And he thought of Rose.

He thought he had won. He thought that he had escaped this fate. He thought that this body could be with her for her forever. The Doctor let his grief consume him, along with his guilt. He had failed her. She had already lost one of him, and now he was about to change on her again, become a whole new man and who knew how long it would take for him to recognize his feelings for her again. It had taken a fair few adventures in this body for him to remember how much he loved her. Now they had a family. Would that help him get back to her faster? Would he reject them? He couldn't be sure of any of it.

Finally the pain stopped, just before he lost control of his tears. He stood and with a gentle nudge, the door released him. He needed to get back to Rose. He didn't know how long he had until the poison triggered the regeneration. He promised her.

With Wilf safely back home, the Doctor re-entered the TARDIS and went to Sammy's room, where he knew Rose would be, safeguarding their son.

As soon as he entered, she sprinted to the door and threw her arms around him. Tears of relief fell down her cheeks. "You're still the same."

He held her a little tighter before letting her go. "Not for long," he spoke softly. "The...there was this machine. It had to be destroyed and when that happened, it released a lot of radiation." He pushed his forehead to hers. "It was me or Donna's grandfather. I cou-, Rose, I couldn't..."

He choked on his words and finally brought down the barriers that stopped his tears. She gently shushed him and attempted to dry his face with her hand.

"S'ok," she spoke with a watery tone. "You kept your promise, you came back to me, back to us."

She let him cry a little longer, waiting until he sniffed loudly and inhaled deeply before asking, "How long have you got?"

He shrugged. "About 45 minutes, an hour at most."

Suddenly they each felt a small tug on their legs and looked down to see Sammy clinging to each parent, wide eyes wondering why everyone was so sad. Despite his present turmoil, the Doctor smiled. He pulled away from Rose and bent over to lift Sammy to his hip.

"Daddy, why are you sad?" the young one asked.

Not knowing how to answer straight away, the Doctor hesitated by placing a kiss to the child's forehead. Then he walked them over to the rocking chair hiding in the corner of the room. Rose joined them as well and knelt beside them on the floor.

"Sammy, you remember how your mum and I explained that you and I are different? How we're not like her?" Sammy gave a short nod. "Well, when we get hurt, Time Lords, when we get hurt very, very badly, we can change ourselves so we don't hurt anymore. Does that make sense?" The boy nodded again. "Well, today, Daddy got hurt, so now I have to change. Sammy, it means I'm gonna look different."

This caused the boy to furrow his brows. "But why? I like how you look now!"

Rose and the Doctor both emitted sad laughs. "I know," the Doctor soothed. "I do too, but that's what happens. But Sammy, no matter what I look like, I'll still be your dad, and I'll still love you, very much."

Sammy didn't look convinced. "And you'll still tell me every day?" Again the Doctor smiled and nodded. "I guess it's okay then."

The family spent the next half an hour just being together and enjoying their last moments before the Doctor became a new man. Eventually, the pain returned and he knew that it was time to say goodbye. He doubled over and gave his son one more kiss before leaving the room in favor of the console. Sammy didn't need to see his father die, not at this young age. After telling Sammy to stay where he was, Rose joined her Time Lord and steeled herself against the feeling of loss that was slowly etching itself into her skin.

He moved achingly around the controls, moving the TARDIS into the vortex. Once she was in flight, his face met Rose's, both shining with tears. He made another short move to be directly in front of her, but far enough away that she would be safe during his process.

He could feel it. He couldn't hold back any longer. The energy was building up under his cells, a flood adding more and more pressure until the dam finally burst. With one last look at Rose, the woman who had made him, the woman he loved more than anything else, he uttered his final words.

"I don't want to go."

The familiar glow began to emanate from his entire being, the calm before the storm. The peace only lasted a moment before the regeneration energy burst forth, exploding more harshly than it ever had before. His surroundings went completely black and when they returned, the first thing he noticed was himself.

After accounting for all the proper limbs, digits, and of course, hair (still not ginger!), the Doctor began to look around. The TARDIS was on fire. That was new, never woke up to fire before. He was suddenly tossed into the console and took note of the fact that they were crashing.

They were crashing.

_They._

"Rose," he breathed. "Rose!" He turned and found her, huddled near an arm of coral that had yet to succumb to the flames. Leaping towards her, he grabbed her arms and yanked her towards the door. "I need you and Sammy to get in the zero room! You'll be safe there."

"Doctor, I won't leave you!" she cried.

"I'm sorry," he breathed. "But I need you and Sammy to be safe. Look around! The TARDIS is sustaining nearly irreparable damage, but she can fix herself. I can't promise that I'll land her smoothly in order to do that, so I need you and Sammy to get in the zero room where I _can_ promise no harm will come to you." She still seemed adamant, so he placed a hand on her cheek and said, "Please, Rose."

She gripped his hand and nodded which earned her a silent thanks. She turned to go, but before she did, she faced the Doctor and said, "I love you, Doctor."

A foreign smile met her eyes and a foreign voice replied with, "I love you too, Rose. Now go."

Foreign, but not unfamiliar. He was still her Doctor, of that she was sure.


	3. Chapter 3

She sped towards the door behind which she knew her son was waiting. When she flung it open, she almost cried as her eyes rested upon Sammy curled into a ball on his bed, clutching his pillow for dear life. "Oh Sammy," she breathed. The shaking had permeated throughout the entire TARDIS, and in pursuit of her son, she struggled to maintain her balance during a particularly nasty bit of turbulence. Once the young boy was safely in his mother's arms, she begged the TARDIS to steer her in the direction of the zero room.

They arrived and Rose slammed the door shut behind them. The only thing she noticed was the calm. The stark white walls should have put her on edge. The silence should have put her on edge. Long story short, she should be on edge, but she wasn't. There was something soothing about this room that she couldn't put her finger on. She could always ask the Doctor to explain, but she had a feeling she wouldn't understand it anyway.

Moving to the wall opposite the door, Rose sat down and laid Sammy on her lap. "Go to sleep dearest," she cooed. "Daddy will come get us soon." He merely nodded before doing as she said.

And they waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

It must have been hours, Rose wasn't entirely sure. She couldn't help but remember the last time he had left her waiting like this. For _her_, for Reinette. She pushed the memories aside. Things were different back then. Their relationship had been so new. He had still been unsure of himself and how to proceed with his feelings. Rose herself had been insecure and didn't know what he wanted from her. In the end, they had talked and learned, and the whole incident led them to where they were now.

And where they were was happy. Happy with a family.

And he had _just_ told her he loved her. He clearly hadn't forgotten her or Sammy, and he clearly still felt the same. He wouldn't leave her, not again.

Another hour passed before, finally, the door opened and the Doctor emerged. Sammy, having been long awake, ran over, arms wide, his steps much more even and sure now than when he first came aboard. The Doctor scooped him up and said, "Still recognize me, then."

"Mhm!" Sammy said happily. "I'll always know you. You're my dad."

The Doctor hugged him close and opened his eyes when he sensed Rose coming nearer. His gaze locked on his beautiful human, his wonderful pink and yellow girl walking over to him, a look of absolute, unwavering, unswerving love and devotion pouring forth from her eyes. Without any hesitation, she moved close to him and pressed a kiss to his lips, gentle and soft, a proof of her dedication to him.

If he had any doubts at all about her feelings for the new him, they were easily diminished by the actions she'd taken in a mere 5 seconds.

"Let's get out of here," he said, taking her hand with his free one. "My look isn't the only thing that's changed."

They stepped out into the console room and explored the latest design the TARDIS had offered. Sammy had a grand time running about and feeling the new grating beneath his feet. As he did, the Doctor hugged Rose to him and said, "Rose, after we crashed, I had to leave the TARDIS. She wouldn't let me stay while she was rebuilding herself."

"No, wait, I know this bit," Rose cut in. "You left and found out someone was trying to take over whatever planet you landed on, so you had an adventure without me, and you're really sorry, but at the same time you wouldn't have let me help out anyway because I'm pregnant."

The Doctor pulled back ever so slightly, his surprise evident. "That is scary. How did you do that?"

She shot him a cheeky smile, an expression that told him she would keep that secret to herself.

"Well, there's a bit more to it than that," he continued. "We landed on Earth. I met this little girl, Amelia Pond. She helped me get through the early bit of my regeneration. Gave me fish fingers and custard."

Rose made a face. "And I'm supposed to be the one with the weird cravings."

"Oi! Don't knock it!" He received a laugh as a reply.

"Anyway, I had to then get back into the TARDIS to stabilize her so she could repair herself properly, and when I re-landed, well I skipped a year...or twelve."

"You landed twelve years later?" Rose asked in a less than surprised tone. "Always knew you were a bad driver."

"Cheeky," he warned lovingly.

"Hang on, why did the TARDIS need to be stabilized? How can you do that when a ship's on fire?"

He looked away sheepishly. "I may have...originally...landed her on her side."

"As I said, 'bad driver.' Can't imagine she was happy with that."

"Yes, not really. So anyway, you know the rest, saved the world. All that jazz. Left in a bit of a rush."

Rose just nodded. Again, she knew what was coming next, and she wasn't so sure that she was inclined to give in to him this time.

"You want to invite Amelia on a trip or two, don't you?"

He pressed their foreheads together before nodding slightly into her skin.

She took a moment to think about it. As much as she wanted to say no, that he had her and Sammy and why did he need more? As much as she wanted to, she wouldn't start that fight, not when he was so new. The insecurities were bound to seep in at some point of his regeneration. Heading them off beforehand might only make them worse later on, make them fester and hibernate before coming to the surface. That didn't mean, however, that she should hash them out at every turn. Maybe seeing him with another companion would only prove his commitment to her and only her. Of course, it could do the opposite, but if it came to that, she would fight tooth and nail to keep him. They could cross that bridge if they came to it.

She let out a long sigh, "I suppose," she relented. "Could be fun." He granted her a thank you kiss before rushing around the console, taking the TARDIS right back into Amy's backyard. Shortly thereafter, there was a slight shift as the ship landed.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose followed him as he exited the doors, calling for Sammy who was too busy making new discoveries to hear her.

It was dark and slightly cold, and they hadn't been outside long before they were accosted by a fiery looking redhead.

"It's you," she breathed. "You came back."

Rose was immediately put off by how pretty Amelia was. Still, rather than let it get the better of her, she pushed the thoughts aside. Amelia was going to be a guest for a while. Rose knew she had better get used to it.

"Course I came back. I always come back," the Doctor replied. "Something wrong with that?"

Rose shot him a look and her mind immediately went to Sarah Jane.

"And you've kept the clothes."

His eyes danced towards Rose for a moment before assessing himself and responding with, "Well I just saved the world, the whole planet for about the millionth time, no charge. Yeah, shoot me, I kept the clothes."

"Including the bow tie," Amelia mocked.

The Doctor became rather defensive at that point. "Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool."

"Are you from another planet?"

"Yeah."

It was at this point that Rose could no longer keep her silence. She let out a loud laugh, bringing the attention to herself. Two pairs of eyes stared at her as she struggled to catch her breath. "M'sorry!" she said through bursts. "Oh, Doctor. You really know how to pick 'em." Directing herself to Amelia, she said, "I can't believe it, I actually like you already!"

"Doctor, who is she?" Amy asked, a slight rudeness in her tone.

"I'm his..."Rose hesitated, trying to find the right word. She and the Doctor had never really discussed what they were to each other. They loved each other, and they had a family together, but what _were_ they? They were so much more than boyfriend and girlfriend, but they weren't married so husband and wife weren't appropriate either. _Partners _didn't really seem to do them justice, and _lover _was far too intimate for a public descriptor.

"Doctor," she asked. "What _am_ I, exactly?

"You're my Rose," he replied with a smile, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. She returned his expression.

"I'm his Rose," she repeated to Amy.

The Doctor, completely oblivious to the territory battle Rose had just won, continued on his rambling. _Great_, Rose thought, _Still got a gob._

"So what do you think?" he asked, directing his question to the ginger.

"What?"

"Other planets, wanna check some out?"

The young girl paused. Rose could recognize the hesitance. Her mind went back to the time when she said no to the Doctor, when she had told him that she couldn't travel with him. She had been confused then too.

"What does that mean?" Amelia asked.

"It means, well...it means..."

"Do you wanna come along?" Rose supplied. Amelia turned to face her.

"Where?"

"Wherever. More than that, _when_ever."

She still seemed resistant, and turned back towards the Time Lord. "All that stuff that happened, the hospital, the spaceships, prisoner zero...all those things, those amazing things, all that stuff..."

The Doctor stood a little taller. Rose rolled her eyes slightly. Definitely still the same man. Amelia was impressed. He could tell, and he was _proud_ of it. He was so pleased with himself, and she almost let out a laugh. This was proof. He would never change. He couldn't, and she couldn't be more glad for it.

Amelia continued.

"That was _two_ years ago!"

"Oh...oops."

Rose smiled at the fire behind the girl's eyes. She wasn't going to be the simpering sidekick who needed to be saved by the white knight. Amelia Pond could take care of herself. She might need a bit of help here and there, but by and large, she would probably end up saving the Doctor most of the time. Maybe she was exactly what the TARDIS needed.

"So that's-"

"Fourteen years!" Amelia cried.

"Fourteen years since fish custard," the Doctor finished. "Amy Pond, the girl who waited. You've waited long enough."

He snapped his fingers and the doors to the TARDIS reopened. Rose stepped in and walked slowly toward the sound of her son's giggles.

"Mummy!" he cried and threw himself into her open arms. "The new TARDIS is brilliant!"

"It is!" Rose replied, matching his childish enthusiasm. "And we are going to have to most wonderful adventures, and do you know what? Daddy's made a new friend."

"He has?" Rose just nodded.

"Would you like to meet her?"

He nodded his head earnestly as Amy and the Doctor entered the console room.

"Daddy!" Sammy cried and reached from Rose's grip towards his father. The Doctor just smiled and he and Amy met Rose and Sammy at the console. Rose passed the young boy off to him, and Sammy and Amy became acquainted, though she seemed quite taken aback that the Doctor had a son. Rose knew then just how much the redhead had underestimated the relationship between Rose and the Doctor.

But now she knew, and Rose was confident that there would be no problems. She turned to the redhead and asked, "So, past or future?"

**A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews/follows/favorites! There's one more story following this one entitled "Mine." I hope you guys enjoyed this series. It's always nice to know people are on board with the stuff that comes out of my brain.**


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